2018 was a wild year for me both good and bad. It’s definitely not the worst year I’ve ever had but it has certainly been challenging. As challenging as this year was it was also probably the year with the greatest amount of personal growth. I started my Truelifetinder Instagram page on New Years Eve 2017 in a Sephora while I was getting my makeup done for the New Years Eve Gala I was attending with my then best friend. I never ever expected that I would end up with over 700 followers, I thought it was just gonna be like 50 of my friends.
New Year’s Eve 2017 should’ve been a pretty good indication of how my year was going to. Tensions with my then best friend over her relationship choices led to a massive (and probably vodka induced) blow out which ended in me leaving the gala and ringing in my new year in the back of a cop car that my uber driver sent to find me when he couldn’t locate me and after 40 minutes I told him to cancel the call and I’d just walk back which in hindsight was a poor choice because I had no idea where I was and there was no chance I was going to make it back to my hotel with a dead cell phone in a literal ball gown. It’s been over a year and we still haven’t spoken.
By the end of January, I had gotten some pretty scary health news which had me reconsidering everything I thought I wanted out of my life. By April after a biopsy and a surgery, I was totally fine but it had changed all the things I thought I wanted in my life. I was absolutely miserable in my job that I had moved my entire life to Worcester for. I was already setting myself up to leave after the summer when I was laid off in July. It wasn’t entirely a shock, I was pretty prepared for it and honestly kind of relieved. I took a part-time job bartending to supplement my income and to help pay my 1600$ a month rent and decided to focus on writing and doing shit that made me happy as well as trying to save money to move to Florida which was something I had wanted to do for easily 10 years.
Starting that Instagram page and this blog was a catalyst for me to meet people who were at the same point in their lives as I was which I never ever expected. This is great because I had been feeling pretty lonely now that all my friends had gotten married and started their families and meeting people as an adult is really hard. I submitted a couple pieces that were published by thought catalog and became a contributor for the Single Babe Rebellion blog (you can read those articles here). I had always written but I never felt comfortable enough to share the things I was writing and suddenly my articles were being read by sometimes up to 1k people.
Three months ago I did some standup at an open mic for the first time. I thought it was just gonna be something I did one time just to be able to say I did it and I would probably be the only one laughing at my jokes. I was terrified, I (like pretty much everyone else) have huge issues with public speaking, but I ended up really enjoying myself and decided to keep going to open mics and eventually ended up winning first place at one. One thing led to another and I wound up getting booked on different showcases. Including a showcase at Mohegan Sun (a casino about an hour from me) and a show at Broadway Comedy Club in NYC.
Last week was a huge week for me. On Sunday I hosted my very first open mic, which was super exciting and scary af. When the guy who ran the first mic I had ever done reached out to me asking me to host this month I almost said no because I was totally freaked out about doing it. Hosting meant I would do a 10/15 minute set which was alot more than the 5 minutes I was used to which was scary af because it meant needing to come up with more material and being in front of people 2/3x longer than I was used to, it seemed really soon for me to start doing anything like this and I am still kind of worried about what people who have been doing it much longer than me think of me, but I didn’t want to turn down an opportunity to make myself better so I did it, and despite my fears it went really well.
Last Thursday was that showcase at the casino. I was so freaked out about it that I hadn’t slept in like four days and I had considered telling the guy who booked me that I couldn’t do it that morning. At that point it was too late, it had been advertised for over a month, I had to beg borrow steal and bribe my friends to come, plus I had paid for a hotel room that I couldn’t get my money back from at that point so I figured I had better go. It was probably the most freaked out I had ever been I did 7 minutes in front of over 100 people, I don’t actually even remember much of it because I was so freaked out, but I am glad I didn’t let my anxiety get the better of me. Doing standup has made me put myself out there in ways I never thought I would be able to, even if this was as far as it went it has done alot for my self-confidence (as if it wasn’t high enough). I did start a youtube channel mostly so it was easier to find my comedy stuff for reference or whatever but maybe I’ll start doing more with that (you can check that out here).
I’ve decided to put my move to Florida off. Partly because I want to see where this comedy thing goes and even though I can still do comedy I Florida right now I am still pretty new and I feel like it would be easier if I did some more networking here as opposed to leaving right in the middle of everything that’s been going on and starting over. I started this with zero expectations and it has already vastly exceeded anything I ever thought possible so I am interested in seeing what happens next. Comedy is only a small portion of the reason I’ve decided to wait. Summer is not a good time to relocate to Florida and since I am planning to work in the service industry it would have been a bad move, also it is really hard to save any money when your paying 1600$ a month in rent every month so my plan is to find a really cheap (probably a studio) apartment, save as much money as possible, work on fixing my credit issues and try to have my shit together a little more before I make any significant moves. I am considering moving to Providence because its still close enough to everything I’m doing right now to continue doing what I’m doing but the rents are like $300 cheaper a month.
I have a lot of exciting things coming up for 2019, I’ll be in Nashville in two weeks, NYC in a month, Ireland in March and I might even make it to the Kentucky Derby this year so needless to say I’m thrilled about these new experiences. I spent so much of my early 20’s supporting other people while everyone else was experiencing life that I am excited to finally have the freedom to experience my own.
I really don’t know what this next year is going to bring me but my goals are to find a much cheaper apartment and pay off as much debt as possible, work on my standup, find a job closer to where I live, be an even better mom to my dogs, travel, actually make some friends out here and continue to be a bigger fuck boy than most of the guys on Tinder.
Wish me luck I guess