Keep it to yourself

I’ll be honest on my first date with the guy who dumped me I had another date set up with a different guy for later that night. In my defense, 80% of guys that ask me on dates don’t actually follow through with the date and even if he did follow through I figured it would go like most of my other dates, just fine and we never talk again. I didn’t expect the date to be so good and I instantly like this guy, after our date I made so many jokes to my friends about how I had finally me the one that Facebook started constantly showing me engagement ring advertisements.

Obviously, I canceled the second date, well not really canceled I had told the other guy I had plans earlier in the day and that if I ended up free later I would meet up with him. Because things were going so well on my date I just let him know I wouldn’t be free and would meet up with him another time. I figured that would be the last time I heard from him but he continued texting me here and there and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had met someone else and he never did ask me to meet up again so I figured maybe we could’ve just been friends, but after I got dumped he ended up asking to meet for drinks again and we all know the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else so I decided to go. I honestly didn’t have much else going on and I’ve been feeling super bummed out lately (for reasons other than that guy) so I wanted to get out of the house.

I met him at this bar that is sort of halfway between where we both live. I have brought three other dates to this bar and all of them where bad, I am beginning to think the bar is cursed or something but its cheap and quiet and I know the bartenders well enough to know that they probably wouldn’t let a guy murder me and stick me in a dumpster, but this bar has some serious bad date juju. I’m about to take some sage over there and do some cleansing.

I get to the bar and we start talking he’s nice enough but he talks way too much about his parents, not in a way that he’s close to his parents but almost in a way that he wants to make sure that I know his parents have money. Then he starts talking about his dad and how he used to be a “really fit hockey player but he had kids and gave up and got super fat” First off this guy himself was chunky, there is nothing wrong with being chunky but he definitely didn’t have any business talking about someone else’s weight. Also, I was sitting there and couldn’t help but think to myself “this guy realizes I’m fat right? Like he must know? He’s gotta realize what a dick he sounds like right now”.

Other than that he seemed fine so I stayed for another drink. he then admits that he had run a background check on me before we met up that had helped him find my standup which he had enjoyed. Guys, I know I do my fair share of research before meeting up with them but I would never tell the person I am on a first date with that I had done it and a full-fledged background check seems a bit extreme and invasive. That was about the point I had decided I probably wasn’t going to see him again, or do anything else with him for that matter.

I get up to go to the bathroom and while I’m in the bathroom he pays the tab. I offer to give him cash for my portion (I always offer to pay my half of dates) and he declines and lets me know that he should be heading home, I agree and tell that I’m getting tired and he responds with “yeah it’s probably all that vodka you drank”. I almost lost my shit guys, If I wanted someone to judge me about my drinking I would have gone out with my mother. Plus we literally both drank the same amount, he had three beers and I had three vodka sodas and I offered to buy my own drinks. I could maybe understand if I had gone on this date got loaded and expected him to buy all my drinks but that didn’t happen. He didn’t kiss me but said he wanted to do this again, though thankfully I haven’t heard from him since the date.

1 thought on “Keep it to yourself

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