The tipping point

Sometimes I wonder if I have become so comfortable and attached to my singleness that I’m unintentionally sabotaging potential relationships because I’m just not ready to give it up. I always start dating a guy and at first, he’s cool but after a couple weeks, I start finding something wrong and slowly but surely this (probably small)  thing becomes a massive deal breaker. Its like I’m the Goldilocks of men- Goldi-cocks if you will.

I once went on a few dates with a guy who was a restaurant manager. He was really nice to me whenever we went out but he had nothing to talk about except his job. He was so obsessed with his job that two of our dates were to the restaurant he worked at. I asked him what his long terms goals were, which for me means things like do you want to buy a house or have a family but the only goals he had were career goals and his career goals all had to do with this one restaurant he was working in. It got incredibly boring really fast- and I work in the industry so I get how consuming it is but he literally had nothing to talk about. He also treated the waitstaff like shit, he would go into “manager mode” (his words) and start acting like an asshole to whoever was taking care of us. It was obvious that he had never been a waiter ever and it was really embarrassing especially for me who waitresses part-time.

I really believe that the way a guy treats waitstaff is a really good indication of how they are going to treat you. So things, like being rude or not tipping the server, are huge issues for me.  I always make it a point to watch how much my date tips the waitstaff. Tipping is 20% if you are too cheap to give your server a good tip for decent service than I don’t have time for you. I have been on a ton of dates and I have never once had service that was so bad that it warranted a shitty tip. If you are having a good time with the person you’re with you shouldn’t even be focusing on the server.

Also, I know its 2018 but I literally cannot stand men who smoke pot. Like it’s not even about the pot-  smoke all the pot you want but it’s this whole 420 friendly stupidity that I can’t stand. I realize that the fact that I don’t smoke is like a rarity but like what if I told you that you could smoke weed and not have to talk about it all the time. Its the equivalent of a cross fitter or a strict vegan. I don’t feel the need to tell everyone I’m vodka friendly….  just smoke your devil’s lettuce and shut the hell up about it. As long as your not spending all your money on weed I could really care less if that’s what you do to unwind. We all have our vices, as long as you can support your habit, pay your bills you do you, but for most of these guys, this is like a lifestyle much like the “manager mode” guy I dated it doesn’t seem like they have anything to talk about other than smoking pot.

Maybe these things aren’t as big deal breakers as they seem. As much as I like to think I’m like the dream girl maybe I am just not as ready for a relationship as I thought I was. I feel like everything in my life is so up in the air right now. Like I’m not even sure what I want anymore. I have been feeling very out of place in my own life lately, I uprooted my entire life to take a job that I thought would advance my career but all that job has done lately is kind of make me sad. I kind of realized lately that I don’t know anymore where I want to end up, that I have always done things that weren’t right for me because I was afraid of hurting people or leaving people behind, and in doing so I was the one got left behind.

 

 

Saint Gertrude of Nivelles… The Patron Saint of Cats.

I find it incredibly appropriate that March 17 is Saint Patricks Day as well as Saint Gertrudes day. Maybe its because I’m 1/2 Irish and almost every date I go on makes me want to get another cat (the count is at 3 right now- just so were clear).  Saint Patricks Day 2018 was a day that further solidified that maybe I should give up on men and continue on my path of Cat Ladydom.

In addition to a my full time job I also work part time in a bar that I’ve worked in since I was a teenager. Its an hour from where I  live now but I like working there because I know alot of the customers and I have been working there about 100 years so its comfortable, and without fail theres always something weird happening.

Last weekend I waited on a table of guys- and I am always super friendly and talktaive with my tables, partly because I’m friendly but mostly because I’m a waitress and it is literally my job to be nice to you. We wound up learning that one of the guys knew my little brother so we talked about that for a little while- the bar closed and I started heading home. I get a facebook friend request from one of the friendlier and better looking guys at the table. We had been joking earlier in the night about how bad we are at names so I decided to message him and comment on how proud I was of him for remembering mine. It was that moment where he unleashed his barrage of invitations for sex at his parents house (he was a college student about 22 years old home on break, and I am a grown ass woman who 1- doesnt sleep with customers and 2 doesnt sleep with boys in their moms basements) Here are some highlights “I’m not the kind of girl to come by at 130 in the morning- Good thing its 134 plus I came by your place all night so now its your turn” “Do you always try to booty call your waitresses? – No but I thought you were interested because we kept talking” and my personal favorite “if you ever wanna get dinner I am totally that kind of girl, I also make a great friend. – Well technically we already had dinner, I offered you cheesy bread- that is true I guess i better put out after all- yeah you should that was like a beautiful candle lit cheesy bread dinner”.

While all of this is happening a guy who had added me on facebook from tinder also started messaging me. I really need to stop letting the guys I’m trolling on tinder and POF add me on facebook/ snap chat/ follow me on instagram. It’s just getting to weird- I had let another guy add me on fb and he stumbled across my truelifetinder instagram page and now he wont stop sending me links to his facebook meme pages. THEY ARENT EVEN GOOD MEMES. I digress- so while this horny teenage boy is fb messaging me inviting me to his moms basement this guy that I let add me on FB starts sending me videos of him playing guitar.  No explanation at all just videos of him playing guitar and finally he says “this is just for you” I was just like oh…thank you? and starts going on and on about how he cant trust anyone other than his dog and how his dog is so scary and how he only talks to me because he wants to be my FWB but I wont let him be my FWB. At this point its like 330 in the morning at this point and I am getting a barrage of messages asking me if I want “DP” so I can see what i would get with “FWB” at this point I just stop responding because I have no idea what hes even talking about. I think I was just to tired at that point for it to register to me that “DP” meant dick pic.

Every day I am just one bad date or DM away from getting more cats. It occured to me last week that my only hobby is literally going on dates for free vodka and making fun of guys on the internet. So I have been valiantly searching for new hobbies for people who don’t have hobbies. So far Ghost Hunting, and Falconry are very strong possibilities for me. I actually have met one guy who I have been seeing for about a month so I have not actually been going on dates with anyone other than him.  But that is starting to slow down and I am starting to feel like we are at the end of that road- which is fine. He did warn me on our first date that he “is a rockstar and doesn’t play his cards right”. Which I guess would be what made him exactly my type. Maybe there will be more on this situation at a later date, but since I am sort of unsure where this path leads I don’t really want to say to much on that subject. So for now I will stick to sort of dating a rock star (I have been calling myself the future girlfriend of a rockstart, because lets face it he said something so ridiculous that he needs to be picked on for it for the rest of our time together”  and continuing to terrorize dudes on Tinder. I know I can still see other people but at the moment I just don’t have the energy to continue to go on 3 bad dates a week when I have a situation going thats sort of pretty ok maybe. So I don’t know whats gonna happen with that but maybe I’ll wind up getting myself a falcon and taking up falconry, or maybe I’ll volunteer at an animal shelter and take home a couple more cats. Maybe I can be the new patron saint of cats, its 2018 anything is possible.